Saturday, July 11, 2009

the phrase that I'm so commited to now

你会生气难道我就不会吗?你会难过我不会吗?
你真的太自私了。
我没话说。

you know something?
you are just the same as others.
I thought you were different..
I'm a human too you know.
I'm tired..
I'm sick of myself..
my heart is sick..
All I wanted was just to have some one there for me when I need them..
but why is it just so hard?
Guess people can never give you the shoulder to lean on.
nobody cares anyway..
But you know .
God can hear my midnight cry..
He is the only one who know that my heart is broken..
only He knows..
how much burden am I being blessed by..
The pain beneath my every breath..
every heart beat..
the smile that brought no happiness ..
the eyes that are filled with sorrow and depress nowadays.
Where went the cheerful JLoh?
god.. can you pls give me back my happiness??
I'm slipping of the edge of anxiety through a tough month ..
I kept my spirits up for the past 8 years..
Happy was all I can feel and want to be close to..
I forget and forgive so easily that it doesn't mean anything..
but what happened..
don't tell me a year kills all the hard work .. all the happiness you fight to keep..
All the forgotten sad stuff is coming back to me..
No..
JLoh..
Hold on.
Do not hesitate to keep spreading all your happiness till the last day of your life.
Yes..
this is my decision.
Thanks to the friend that I once thought was so close and so real.
realizing that you were the chosen one. =)
makes me grow stronger..
tears of diamonds were shed for you.
be proud.
JLoh

4 comments:

Sherine said...

Oh dear, what's wrong? I'll lend you my sholder. Don't be sad k? :)

Anonymous said...

im sorry. okay? please accept my apologize. i know that ure tired of my playing emo. im tired of myself too. please..
do u know how much it hurts when u said that u thought im different from others and u found out that ure wrong?? u know how much u meant for me. ure worth for my tears. ure worth for my everything.
im finally God's daughter bcuz of u. im finally a HUMAN bcuz of u. i know that im not sensitive enough. its my fault not urs.i juz couldnt sense ur problems like u sensed mine.IM SORRY. im the one who's not worth ur tears. im not perfect. i promise u to change. i was planning to make a deal with u b4 this. i wanted to promise u not to be emo again and hope u will share ur sorrows. Looks like i dun get a chance to do so. i know ure disappointed. So am i. Iwas thinking of that will our friendship remains like this and last forever? i dun wanna be the friend that u THOUGHT it was close and real. i know ure sad. i can see it.. u hid it in ur laughter. my shoulder is always for u.. juz dunno how to show it.i felt guilty avtime i worried u. Im sorry. Please dun leave me. Please.. im still the one b4. im juz lost these time. i promise i'll change. Please. Please. i dun apologize to everyone. but i know im wrong. I can see that ure actually tired. and sick of me. Sorry. Can we talk? face to face. or phone to phone. Please. i can be the wrong one to everyone but not u.
Please... im deeply sorry.
IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY
i know this comment might not change ur mind anyway but i really want u to know that U are actually the one that i KNOW it's close and real. Please




**SORRY** :'(

JLoh Rox said...

You don't have to my dear..
I like the way you are..
You make me believe that god's creation are perfect. =) I'm not tired or sick of you my dear..
I'm tired as in exhausted.. and I'm sick of myself. my heart is sick.. I need to recover. You are the colours of my world dear.. believe me.. our friendship will last till the coffins. =D just don't worry. don't apologize.. it's not ur fault .. it's my own problem.. I'm the one sad here. I care for you so much.. that's why I'm hurt easily. I'm mad because I care.. my mind has never had any of that.. so theres nothing to be changed or maintained..
Again I say.. don't have to be sorry.. I'm the one the blame.

JLoh Rox said...

Thank you my dear Sherine..
you've always pop up at the right time.. lolz.. don't worry. I'll be fine =) love you darling.
smile for me will you? =D
hugs.